I Always Look Where I Should (Synesthesia)

I Always Look Where I Should

It was dark, so I couldn’t see much –

But I heard a bird sing a song

Like none I had heard before.

He sang, as if calling

Like the rushing wind

Ripe with a summery citric scent

Running carefree fingers through

My thoughts

Trembling in awe like blades of green green grass.

He sang like sunlight strands

Caught in the glint

Of squinting eyes – afraid that

They might not hide love well enough

From a friend they fear is a lover.

Eyes trying to say

‘It’s just a summer day, and we’re just friends.’

He sang like the taste of buzzing bees

Sweet as brimming hives heaving with honey.

As if calling... still he sang.

So I listened (but did not go)

As his song crept up

My skin (rising with anticipation)

And into my thoughts.

I heard joy dancing to his music –

Disguised as youthful half-smiles

And infantile cackle

And rapid-rushing hearts with something to beat for –

Thumping percussively

To the marooned melody of a nagging night-bird.

His breath stuttered and his music grew hoarse –

Still he sang, as if begging.

But it was dark

And I was not expecting to hear a song so sweet

At night.

If he sang by day

I would have gone looking.

Suddenly

His force failed

And his song seized –

I opened my eyes

And it was dark again.

In the morning, I tried to find him

But could not hear his song.

Perhaps it was drowned in the mechanical monotone

Of high technology

And busy people...

There were so many birds

How could I tell

Which song was his?