Slow Down… No One Arrives Late (or “People on the Underground”)
I'll never get it.
Why are people on the London Underground
In such a rush to cram into
A hot, smelly train?
Trying to
Zone out in the baking bowels of Zone 1
Camping out next to a homeless
Man’s visibly hairy pits.
Is 3 minutes too long to spend
Waiting for the next train
Not being agitated and not being
In a hurry to arrive at death?
That's where we're going after
All (your chances of getting there
earlier
Increase while you ride on
The Underground)
Maybe I do get it.
Maybe they're excited about dying. Maybe
they can’t
Wait to hop on and dream about the sweet
Release…
No more meetings you have to arrive at
on time
No more dead-
Lines for writing that report
No more dinner dates you can’t afford
To be late to
No more Tinder dates you’re dying
To impress with punctuality and a casual
lack of interest
No more TV catch-ups to numb
The pain (because there’s no pain to
numb)
No more getting to Asda before it shuts
(Unless you end up in hell –
Because God didn’t give Asda planning
permission
But Satan did)
No need to keep up with all that
eatingmeetingsextingbreathing mess being dead inside
Is hard – being dead is easy
I guess that’s why people on the Underground
want it so
Bad that petite women turn into Viking
pillagers and gentlemen
Turn into silverback gorillas
But everyone gets their turn
At death – it's not like we're gonna run
out (of time,
maybe. But not out of death)
Maybe if people on the Underground were
to chill out a bit, they’d find life
Becomes so sweet that there’s no hurry
for that sweet
Release…
